Manifestation or Destiny?
My oh my how my life has changed in just a few short months. It looks dramatically different than it did at the beginning of this year, 2018. Rewind nearly 8 months to my birthday, March 3. I turned 31 this year and on my actual birthday, boarded the plane to India, where I would embark on my second retreat with Belinda O’Dea Yoga, Travel & Wellness. On arriving, I sat outside our beautiful room in a boutique hotel with a unobstructed view of the pool and the sounds of the ocean just on the other side of the hotel wall. The temperature was warm, warmer than it had been back home and I was relishing the sun’s rays. I took my journal out to write my birthday insert, wishes on what I wanted for the year to come and reflections on the year that had been. My one and only birthday wish this year...to attract in my “one”. Our retreat began like most others, with time for contemplation and intention setting. What exactly did I want to get out of my days to come and what was my main reason for coming on retreat? Self-care, to learn and to re-energise, were clearly outlined at the top of my journal page. All of my intentions were focused on self and how I could continue to work at being the absolute best version of me. I drew a goddess card that day, which was Mother Mary - “Expect a miracle. Have faith that your prayers have been heard and are being answered”. We then spent time identifying what is working and what is not working in our lives. I love this sort of reflection where you really take a good look at what is going on and what needs changing. I have always prioritised growth and evolution so find it quite easy to recognise both the amazing aspects of my life as well as those that need work. My list of what I felt was working, was longer than the list of what I believed to not be working, however the first two points on my ‘not working’ list were being single and fertility issues. The latter was something I had previously identified as an item I would raise with the Ayurvedic doctor once we arrived at the retreat centre. My honed intention for the week that I would repeat and revise daily: “I want, I wish, I choose and I intend self-love and joy”. That being said, as I reread my journal, another intention featured in draft form that I did initially contemplate: “I want, I wish, I choose and I intend to be in a loving relationship”. The wish of a relationship seemed to linger throughout my time in India. Having done a lot of work on myself over the years, I have fluctuated between focusing intently on finding the right relationship and then distracting myself and trusting it would happen when the time is right. Always torn between bringing what I want into my life with intention and laws of attraction, versus believing we have a predetermined destiny and trusting in divine timing. That being said I do always believe we need to be active players in our own life. We need to continue to learn, grow and evolve in order to get to where we agreed to go before we came back to earth. But because we have a degree of free choice, our decisions can take us off path, which may change our subsequent life events. Clearly on this occasion, I opted for a deeper focus on self, hoping that if I deepen my ability to love, I will attract in more love. Goddess card for the day: Rhiannon-Soceress “You are a magical person who can manifest your clear intentions into reality”. Bring it on I say (and this card was drawn again on a later day)! Arriving at the retreat centre high in the mountains of Kerala, down South in India, I was astounded by the surrounding beauty. This was definitely the place to recharge and reflect. I felt nurtured and loved and partook in daily activities such as: puja (an ancient fire ceremony that is all about releasing what you no longer need and setting intentions for what you want), yoga, yoga nidra, journalling, philosophy lessons with Belinda, reading, Ayurvedic massage, Japa with our Mala beads (repeating mantras 108 times) and delicious Ayurvedic, 100% organic meals. It doesn’t get any better than this. My daily journal reflections were constantly repeating how special this place was, the surroundings, the people and the energy. I felt layers peel back and I was so grateful to be in this place at this time. Journal entry 10th March 2018: ...”the other thing I’m realising is that although my ultimate is to find a partner and start a family - my intentions start and finish with self. If I can continue to deepen my self-love and bring more joy into my life - then no doubt I will meet my Mr Right. He is near - I can feel that. I [need to] keep showing up for me and trusting that all is where it is exactly meant to be. Divine timing does exist and I am here, now, ready and waiting.” Constantly in the back of my mind, but prioritising self during this retreat became a clear pattern of mine. One night we experienced a Goddess puja firsthand. The hours of preparation that went into this ceremony meant that many people left before the event even began as the night grew late a few other ladies and I waited patiently, in anticipation of the ceremony we would soon be a part of. Not knowing exactly what it entailed, meant we were all delightfully surprised when the men conducting and witnessing the ceremony came to a part which involved blessing, honouring and adoring all of the women present. It was very special as they each came to us one by one to lay flower petal offerings at our feet and bow down before us, offering up prayer and well wishes. In no way feeling derogatory, it was clear that this form of ceremony had been performed for eons, a real appreciation of the feminine in all her aspects. On the final night of the retreat, we were treated to a special celebration. They needed a guest volunteer to partake in a performance that was being arranged that night. The families of those who worked at the retreat centre all gathered around for a rare evening of singing, dancing and performing arts. I was nominated as the volunteer and was soon dressed in a beautiful bride sari. Adorned with jewels and surround by dancers I was led out onto the stage where I took a seat and the ladies all honoured me. It was like nothing else I had experienced. The men cheered and the women clapped, it felt like a true wedding celebration. One of my comments upon being told I would be dressed as a bride was, “would this act as a good luck omen for meeting my future husband soon?” To which I was told an undoubtable “yes”! I truly believed my man was on his way. So fast forward to now. I have the most amazing man by my side (we had been in the same workplace since the start of the year) and things really kicked off between us less than 2 months after my return from India. More recently we were blessed by the news of a little bundle of joy on its way and we couldn’t be happier. Did I manifest this or was it all part of my destiny? I’ll never know, but what I do know is that I’ll never stop learning and growing and encourage everyone else to prioritise self-growth as well! You may just get what you wish for!!